Out of my Funk and Finally Back.

When you find it has been a long time since you've done something, sometimes you feel like not doing it at all. I call it a Funk and that has been the state of my life since June 13th. Thank God for my son's Cub Scout's Day camp this last week, which motivated me to push through the cloud of funk and get back in the groove.

In my last post, I spoke about my Mom being terminally ill and my husband's job royally sucking. Well, it all came to a head, as they say, starting June 5th. My husband was let go at work and then the following Saturday, June 13th, my Mom passed away. At the time it seemed overwhelming, but in retrospect, it was a blessing. My husband was home for the last week of my Mom's life which enabled him to help me with the boys and allowed me to spend more time taking care of my Mom. Her passing has been surreal to say the least. With in a month in a half, we found out she was sick and she was gone. My Mom had Acute Hepatitis C which damaged her liver and on top of that she drank and she drank alot. In the end she suffered alot, compliments of the alcohol abuse. This was so heartbreaking because obviously she suffered her whole life emotionally to the point that she needed to drink and you would think that in the end she deserved to go peacefully. The experience was enough to make me never want to drink again. I do feel comfort in knowing she is no longer suffering and she is with my Grandma and two of her sisters. I look forward to the day when I can hug her again. As much as I know I'm not to blame for her addiction, I feel I failed her in so many ways and wish I could have done more so that my children would have had her here longer. They miss her terribly which is the hardest part.

On Auto Pilot

I've been on auto pilot for the past few days trying to keep myself busy so that I don't allow myself to fully comprehend what is going on in my life. The past month and a half has been shockingly stressful.

My husband's job is a constant roller coaster. I've contemplated going back to work, but with the economy in the state that it is, there isn't much out there and it appears I would be working to pay for day care only. We are uncertain whether refinancing will help or whether we will have to sell our house; thankfully we have these as options available to us.

On top of that , my Mom is terminally ill. In the last month her liver has begun shutting down. My Mom has battled with alcohol severely for the past 10 years and it has finally caught up with her. She was told on Tuesday that there is no medication to be given to extend her life. That we just have to let nature take it's coarse. I'm shocked with how fast this is all happening. I struggle with how my children will react when she is no longer here. My oldest understands that she is going to Heaven, but is confused by why she has to go. He said to me, "She can't go. Her hands aren't wrinkly. Who will watch us when you and Daddy go on a date?" Trying to explain to him why was so hard. My heart brakes for him and my two other children.

Sad and Stressed....Sums It Up!

Life has been pretty tough around these parts, lately. So I haven't felt like doing much of anything except the house work and laundry, which I have to do. This economy royally SUCKS and we are starting to feel the effects of it. My husband is very stressed out and there is not too much that I can do about it. I haven't worked in 5 years and no one is hiring Human Resource personnel right now. I could try to get another job, but I would need to make enough money to pay for daycare for 3 children; not an easy task to accomplish especially in this job market. Being a stay at home mom where you do not provide any financial support makes me feel helpless and vulnerable. I hate feeling this way! So after hosting a Pampered Chef party, I discussed starting a direct sell business with my husband via Pampered Chef. I'm hoping this will generate a little help for my family. Watch my friends, I will be calling to host a show!

Some Bunny Loves You Three!

With all the stress, I actually looked forward to Easter this year because it wasn't at our home so I didn't have a million things to do to prepare. Sure enough, it turned out to be a relaxing day at my husband's grandmother's home. The kids had a blast!

On a creative note, I have so many unfinished projects, it is ridiculous! Being creative always makes me feel happy. I need to get my bootie in order and get to crafting and crocheting! Hell, maybe I could sell some of that stuff, too!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

May God grant you always

A sunbeam to warm you,

A moonbeam to charm you,

A sheltering angel

so nothing can harm you.

2007 Leprechauns

Looking forward to Corned Beef, Soda Bread and a couple of pints of Guinness! I think I might cruise over to Henrys or Trader Joes and see if they have any black currant juice. My husband's uncle swears that I would love a pint with a splash of juice; what better day than today to try it out. Time to wake up my little leprechauns and get them ready for a day filled with GREEN.

Tag You're It!

We've been passing around a cold/flu bug for the past 3 weeks. I'm so glad it has finally passed (I'm crossing my fingers, right now!). As a result, I haven't blogged in a very long time. SOOOO...here is my month in review.

Camping in the Desert

Tired little rug rats.

We love to play card games!

Memma & Me relaxing.


Scout Night at the Museum

This was a very cool event. We stayed the night at the Natural Museum of History and had a fun filled night of activities learning about dinosaurs. The next morning we had free access of the museum before it opened to the public; TOTALLY COOL!


Cub Scout's Pinewood Derby

Dad and Nick putting the final touches on his car.

Nick's car didn't win, but he had a blast! Now that he knows what to expect, he is really looking forward to next year.


Crochet Corner:

I'd been on a kick of making scarves with any Homespun yarn I could get my hands on. I forgot to take pics of the last two I made before I gave them away. :( I'm currently working on a bucket style hat for the my park days with Mem and I found an adorable pattern for Easter eggs.

A Busy Week Every Year

The week leading up to Valentine's Day is ALWAYS busy every year. Not only do we have school parties, but my son's birthday is the day after so prepping for that adds to the craziness. This year in addition to the above, we had Crazy Hat Day at school and the Pinewood Derby.

Shark Hat in honor of their school magnet program, Marine Science.

Skateboarding Hat

Hummm...can't find the Derby pictures. I'll have to post them another time; oh, well. :(

I LOVE THE 99 cent STORE!

I found these adorable pots and cupcake dish! The pots have apples and hearts on them...a perfect gift for the boy's teachers. Not really sure what I'll put in them, but I'll figure it out. I'm going to give them at the end of the school year.

Happy Valentine's Day!

My Amigurumi Love Birds

My husband and I don't usually celebrate V day because he has always stated the case that Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday made up by them, for them to make $$$. This year I warned my husband early that we would be celebrating V day and I didn't want to hear any of his BS stories. Funny part is it turned out to be our BEST Valentine's EVER! My Valentine and I decided to celebrate last night and beat the crowds. We had an awesome dinner at one of our town's best Italian restaurants and he surprised me with a mushy card (So not up his alley) and an gift too....Oh....did I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! :)

My three other Love's woke up to a couple of gifts from Mommy and Daddy! I almost forgot Bruno, our dog, he got a dog tin filled with bones!!!

Spread the LOVE!