I've been on auto pilot for the past few days trying to keep myself busy so that I don't allow myself to fully comprehend what is going on in my life. The past month and a half has been shockingly stressful.
My husband's job is a constant roller coaster. I've contemplated going back to work, but with the economy in the state that it is, there isn't much out there and it appears I would be working to pay for day care only. We are uncertain whether refinancing will help or whether we will have to sell our house; thankfully we have these as options available to us.
On top of that , my Mom is terminally ill. In the last month her liver has begun shutting down. My Mom has battled with alcohol severely for the past 10 years and it has finally caught up with her. She was told on Tuesday that there is no medication to be given to extend her life. That we just have to let nature take it's coarse. I'm shocked with how fast this is all happening. I struggle with how my children will react when she is no longer here. My oldest understands that she is going to Heaven, but is confused by why she has to go. He said to me, "She can't go. Her hands aren't wrinkly. Who will watch us when you and Daddy go on a date?" Trying to explain to him why was so hard. My heart brakes for him and my two other children.
