When you find it has been a long time since you've done something, sometimes you feel like not doing it at all. I call it a Funk and that has been the state of my life since June 13th. Thank God for my son's Cub Scout's Day camp this last week, which motivated me to push through the cloud of funk and get back in the groove.
In my last post, I spoke about my Mom being terminally ill and my husband's job royally sucking. Well, it all came to a head, as they say, starting June 5th. My husband was let go at work and then the following Saturday, June 13th, my Mom passed away. At the time it seemed overwhelming, but in retrospect, it was a blessing. My husband was home for the last week of my Mom's life which enabled him to help me with the boys and allowed me to spend more time taking care of my Mom. Her passing has been surreal to say the least. With in a month in a half, we found out she was sick and she was gone. My Mom had Acute Hepatitis C which damaged her liver and on top of that she drank and she drank alot. In the end she suffered alot, compliments of the alcohol abuse. This was so heartbreaking because obviously she suffered her whole life emotionally to the point that she needed to drink and you would think that in the end she deserved to go peacefully. The experience was enough to make me never want to drink again. I do feel comfort in knowing she is no longer suffering and she is with my Grandma and two of her sisters. I look forward to the day when I can hug her again. As much as I know I'm not to blame for her addiction, I feel I failed her in so many ways and wish I could have done more so that my children would have had her here longer. They miss her terribly which is the hardest part.
